lost within my own reality

"Ashes to ashes.Dusk to dusk.All you idiots...disappear from us!!!"haha..k...I'm goin kuku...I'm alone in EM room.Feels so different.Not a single soul here...one thing for sure,its peaceful.Just me and my biscuits!!Well...biscuit..only left one....k...no more already...put everything in my mouth!!haha...Recently,I haven't been getting enough sleep.I couldn't bring myself to wake up...even if I did wake up...I'll go back to sleep.Waking every 1/2 hour to check the time.I couldn't get my big fat ass out off bed.I think i need to hibernate for a few days!!Like a bear...high up in the cold mountain!!In a dark cave...just me,my sleep and my dreams.Wouldn't that be wonderful??hehe

Gals...and guys...I wanna go watch movie!!I wanna watch KILL BILL VOL.2!!Yeah!!So will somebody date me?I've no date...no...no...can't be with him...hehe...he got to study!!Anyway...HERA is still SINGLE!!So no worries man!!I need my bed now...i need a big hug...i need...sleep.Nite!!

You think I have a killer butt?Wait till you see my friend's,Samantha.You're sure to spank it till its red!!lol..Kidding Sam...Anyway,wat is life without friends?They add colours to your life.They're your shoulder to cry on.k...i'll continue...sam gonna edit my blog!Thanks girl!

Aiyah...we're not together physically in the next stopover.But you all will be in my heart.I'll be going to CRMSC...dunno what the hell is that!!Hm...only Nicky will be in my next stopover.I was telling him a few weeks back..."Nic,if next stopover we're in the same one...We'll be the best of friends!!"haha...And so we are!!haha...sadly...he'll only be around for a month cause this idiot is going to France!!BASTARD!!Then...in my stopover...I'm stuck with MISS MILKY!!Oh no!!!I'm so afraid I'll be dead bored in the room.I'm afraid I have no one to bitch with.I'll be a lonely bitch!!Oh no....wat am I to do.But I heard in my new stopover...can slack la.I hope its true.Shan's going to IBRC.Her room is opposite mine...at least not so bad...I can still WATCH her across the hallway.Eh shan...shall we make a message board to put at the window??hehe...leave love notes!!haha.I'm bored now...and so is nana.She's yawning away!!!haha...like a sleepy GARField!!hehe

Psst...I tell you a secret....Remember Nicole used to say that NIcky smells like jasmine??HAHA...I think not!!Cause our dear friend has a hugo...wait ah...i go check...oh...hugo boss deodorant!!not bad ah...LOL!!!Must smell nice...k k...I wanna bitch now...If Nicky smells like hugo...she will smell like OLIVE???LOL!!!I'm so mean...sigh...but its okay...nic boy will forgive me!!LOL

Okay dearies....thats all for now!!Hugs and kisses!!Love you!!

On the surface,I may seem bothered.But I'm not.On the surface,I may seem that I don't care.But I do.On the surface,I may not show my love for you.But I do.On the surface,I may seem unkind.But I'm not.On the surface,I may be a bitch.But I AM!!haha...I have no idea what point I'm making ...maybe....wat I'm trying to say is...you can't see everything on the surface.Its wat is in you...that not many people can see.Some people are not very good at expressing themselves well.So yeah...

Be right back!!

"As thoughts of you pass by me every nite,I wonder if you would stand by me through the light.Knowing you love me by all your might,you will never leave by my sight."

Isn't this poem sweet??hehe..Ah well...it comes from someone who has found that special someone!!LOL
He emo la...NICKY's emo....LOL.

Its feels cold in here.Alone.In the dark.Just me alone and my thoughts.My hands are cold.My heart is sorta cold.My feet are cold.My body is cold.I think the air-con is too cold.But I'm tired.I dun want to move.Open the door...where there is warmth.I dun want to change the temperature.I think its nice to be in the cold.Freeze!!Freeze the time.How i wish time would just stop.So i can sleep..sleep like there's no tomorrow to look forward to.Sleep forever...no one to please...no one to see...no worries...no shit to pick up...nothing...just me in my sweet dreams.Good nite.

Kept in the dark.Lost in the dark.I knocked but there's no answer.I kept knocking...still no answer.What am I to do?Should I keep on knocking and wait for the door to open?I'm afraid that effort might be wasted.But if I let it be...I'll be stuck in darkness.Lost in it.I see light underneath the door.I want that light.Lightness in the heart.Will the keeper open that door to lightness in the heart ?Free me.Free me.

Save me from the darkness.

Just when you thought that life sucks...and things are gonna get worst...I bet it didn't rite?Cause if you have faith and hope in the things you do and that someone...it will all be better.Everyone seems to be so...uppy lately...I'm happy.Nicky!!!Congrats dear...you're gonna go to France and...and...you found that someone!!lol...FRankly...I knew something was going on!!My instincts said so...and my instincts hasn't proven me wrong so far.So wat I'm trying to say is...I know!I know! I know!!haha...You're happy!I'm happy!We girls are all happy!!lol...So yeah...shall we all rejoice to the fact that life is not so bad afterall??You girlie girls got my cards rite...just for you info...I'm not emo.Just felt like writing la..."I'm so happy...all so happy!!"haha..good mood la.Everyone...I love you...and I know you love me too!!hehe

Hugs and kisses!
Love,
Hera aka LAdy B

Ps:I wonder if "darling" reads my blog...hm....

"Endless amounts of thoughts running in my mind.Thinking back on memories,mistakes and the good times.What i could have done but didn't,now too late to regret like once metal has rust.Pondering on more sad than happy,my life suddenly feels unfulfilled and empty.I need to write the next chapter of my life soon.I'm becoming stale,everything's so stagnant."

Kwok,I think this is a real sad poem but its beautiful.I know it kinda surprises you that both me and Aston liked it...but wat you wrote...it speaks your heart.Its great...This is for you!!Hugs!!

Dear lie
You suck
You said you could fix anything
Instead I'm f***ed
You made things even worse for me
If I had balls I'd tell you get away from me
Guess I'm not smart
I let you unnerve me
I let you control me
Afraid the truth would hurt me
When it's you that hurts me more

[Chorus:]
Get outta my mouth
Get outta my head
Get outta my mind
Stop puttin' words in my head
Get outta my mouth
You're nothing but trouble
Get outta my life
Get out of me
Out of me (out of me)
Out of me
Out of me lie
Lie lie lie lie lie

Dear lie
You're dumb
You think you've got the best of me
You think you won
Misread my vulnerability
I've got your balls
Now get the hell away from me
I've learned your art
Won't let you unnerve me
Won't let you control me
The truth will only free me
And your lies won't hurt no
No more

[Chorus]

Lie lie
I've got
Your balls
Now get the hell away from me
I learned your art
Won't let you unnerve me
Wont' let you control me
The truth will only free me
And your lies won't hurt no
No more

[Chorus]

Lie lie
Dear lie
Lie Lie Lie Lie
Lie Lie
Dear lie

Did I mention that I hate liars??"The best honesty is when you know it will cost you!!"and "The truth brings closure!"
So stop fucking lie to me you "DEar Lie"

Are you girls enjoying my brownies??DElicious rite...you want more??hehe...I'll bring more tomorrow if I still have some at home!!haha...its such a sinful dessert...but wat the hell..all of us are feeling so blue these few days...I bet my brownies won't hurt a bit!!haha...Anyway...I was thinking of setting up a NUN-TO-BE booth rite here at NYP.Why?This is to seek others who are keen to find peace and wisdom!!And this include me!!

Brb!!
Bye Girls and Guys!!

Guy Sebastian

It’s been a long and winding journey,
But I’m finally here tonight picking up the pieces walking back into the light
Into the sunset of your glory where my heart and future lies
There’s nothing like that feeling when I look into your eyes

My dreams came true when I found you; I found you, my miracle

If you could see what I see
That you’re the answer to my prayers
And if you could feel the tenderness of me
You will know it would be clear, that angels brought me here

Nothing here before you
Feels like I’ve been born again
Every breath is your LOVE
Every heartbeat speaks your name

My dreams came true right here in front of you my miracle

If you could see what I see
You’re the answer to my prayer
And if you could feel the tenderness of me
You would know it would be clear, that angles brought me here

It brought me here, to be with you
Ill be forever grateful, forever thankful

My dreams came true when I found you my miracle

If you could see what I see
You’re the answer to my prayers, oh...
And if u could feel the tenderness of me
You would know it would be clear that angels brought me here

You know i love you baby
And if you could feel the tenderness of me
You would know it would be clear, that angels brought me here

"A place to spend my quiet nights, time to unwind
So much pressure in this life of mine, I cry at times
I once contemplated suicide(never,FYI), and woulda tried
But when I held that knife, all I could see was my momma's eyes
No one knows my struggle, they only see the trouble
Not knowin it's hard to carry on when no one loves you
Picture me inside the misery of poverty
No man alive has ever witnessed struggles I survived
Prayin hard for better days, promise to hold on"

I Promise
by Stacie Orrico

Will I always be there for you?
When you need someone, Will I be that one you need?
Will I do all my best to, to protect you?
When the tears get near your eyes
Will I be the one that's by your side?
Will I be there when call me in the middle of the night?
Will I keep the rain from falling down into your light?
I promise, I promise
I promise I will

Will I take tender care of you?
Take your darkest night and make it bright for you
Will I be there to make you strong and to lean on?
When this world has turned so cold
Will I be the one that's there to hold?

Will I be there when you call me in the middle of the night?
Will I keep the rain from falling down into your light?
I promise, I promise
I promise I will

Will I be there when you call me in the middle of the night?
Will I keep the rain from falling down into your light?
I promise, I promise
I promise I will

Yeah
And I love you more every day
And nothing will take that love away
When you need someone
I promise I'll be there for you (there for you)
I promise

Will I be there when you call me in the middle of the night?
Will I keep the rain from falling down into your light?
I promise, I promise
I promise I will

And I promise (and I promise)
I promise (oh I promise you)
I will be there when you call me (when you call me)
I promise (I promise)
I promise I will

I Don't Want You Back
by Eamon

woh, oh, no no no

Verse 1:
See I don't know why
I liked you so much
I gave you all of my trust
I told you I loved you
Now that's all down the drain
You put me through a pain
I wanna let you know how I feel

..What I said it don't mean now
..The presents mine is well gone now
..All those kisses they didn't mean jack
..You, you (uhhh), I dont want you back
..What I said it don't mean now
..The presents mine is well gone now
..All those kisses they didn't mean jack
..You, you (uhhh), I dont want you back

Verse 2
You though you could
Keep this from me yeah
You burnt ~wow oh~ I heard this story
You played me
You even gave him (uhh)
Now your asking for me back
Your just abother act
Look elsewhere cause your done with me

..What I said it don't mean now
..The presents mine is well gone now
..All those kisses they didn't mean jack
..You, you (uhhh), I dont want you back
..What I said it don't mean now
..The presents mine is well gone now
..All those kisses they didn't mean jack
..You, you (uhhh), I dont want you back

ohh ohh uh huh yeah
ohh ohh uh huh yeah
ohh ohh uh huh yeah
ohh ohh uh huh yeah

Verse 3:
You questioned, did I care?
You can ask anyone
I even said you were my great one
Now it's over
But I do mean what I said
It hurts me oh bad
I can't swear that cause I love the (uhhh)

..What I said it don't mean now
..The presents mine is well gone now
..All those kisses they didn't mean jack
..You, you (uhhh), I dont want you back

oh oh uh huh yeah
oh oh uh huh yeah
oh oh uh huh yeah
oh oh uh huh yeah
oh oh uh huh yeah
oh oh uh huh yeah

Somehow...I can relate to this song!hah...dun ask!

It sucks not to know wats goin on.The truth brings closure.Will he tell me?I feel lousy.Negative thoughts settling in.I can't stop but to think...what am I?Its annoying not to know.You feel so close but yet so far.Can you please tell me?

Okay...there's just too many things goin on.I've too many things to say.And its just way too long to write and tell.But all is fine...I'm good and I hope you are too.

Jason Mraz:You and I Both

Was it you who spoke the words that things would happen but not to me
Oh things are gonna happen naturally
Oh taking your advice, I'm looking on the bright side
And balancing the whole thing

Oh But it often times those words get tangled up in lines
And the bright light turns to night
Oh Until the dawn it brings
A little bird who'll sing about the magic that was you and me

Cause you and I both loved
What you and I spoke of
And others only read of
Others only dream of the love,
oh the love that I loved
la, la, la, la

See I'm all about them words
Over numbers, unencumbered numbered words
Hundreds of pages, pages, pages forwards
More words than I had ever heard and I feel so alive

Oh, then you and I, you and I
Not so little you and I anymore
Oh and with this silence brings a moral story
more importantly evolving is the glory of a boy

Cuz you and I both loved
What you and I spoke of
and others just read of
and if you could see me now
well then I'm almost finally out of
I’m finally ow-ow-out of
Finally de-de-de-de-de-de-de
Well I’m almost finally, finally
Well I am free, free, free.

and it's okay if you had go away
oh just remember the telephone, well, they’re workin it both ways
and if I never ever hear it ring
if nothing else I'll think the bells inside
have finally found you someone else
and that's okay
cause I'll remember everything you sang

cuz you and I both loved
what you and I spoke of
and others just read of
and if you could see now
well then I'm already finally out of
I’m finally ow-ow-out of
Finally de-de-de-de-de-de-de
Well I’m almost finally, finally out of words.

Okay okay...I know I've haven been writing these few days.Just busy la...with everything.And by the end of the day..I'm too tired to type my life story.So wats new??Ah...come back tomorrow morning!!I'll rite something tonite...hehe.

Wats up all my darlings!!!hehe...miss me??haha...I dunno why...but tonite...I'm just in a bloody goody goody mood!!haha...no...its not because of that particular person...if thats wat you're thinking...its just GOOD MOOD!!haha...so yeah...I've realised that there's so many things happening in our lives rite now..it tough for some of us.But look at it this way...it could be a blessing in disguise...or think of your problems as potential teachers!We all learn from mistakes.

My dad is out of ICU now...he's recovering but still as stubborn as ever!!REfuses to take his medicine...must nag at him sia!!Oh...went to visit him just now...guess wat??He tried to scare the nurses away...like when his drips stopped flowing...he said,"You sure you know wat you're doing?"...he then pretended that he was hurting..and went "Ouch ouch!!" the moment the nurse tried fixing the that thing to his hand la.--actual fact...it didn't hurt an ant bite!haha...joker sia...anyhoo...I guess he must be real bored.No friends at all.

So yeah...Shan, you're emo la babe!!My lesbian partner...she's emo!!All will be well la woman...you know wat I mean la...just smile...like me...be crazy...like me...but dun be me!!!LOL...You can molest me...hug me...anything la...but pls...not in public!!!haha...I'm straight la babe!!haha..Okay...I think I'm irritating some of you out there since I'm in a BLoody GOod mood!! :) haha...

Hm...dunno why la huh...I'm in a good mood...hm...am I in "****"??I dunno la...but not to worry...cause the next next time you see me...you won't see me sad,frowning...you'll see my irritating smile!!LOL...

Now now...let's all have a group hug!!!!!!!!!!!!*********