lost within my own reality

ARGH!ARGH!ARHG!!
PST:I can hear shan shouting in the 'Dark Sleep' room!!Macam she kena rape man!!Lol..think she kena rape by Iza..the Pinky Bear!!LOL

I went for my retail therapy yesterday.My feet really hurt...my back kinda hurt a little from all the thugging and pushing.I had a small headache from all the difficult decisions I had to make...mind boggling decisions!All and all...retail therapy was good.I think somehow...it help releases the endorphins.And endorphins makes you happy.So I'm really glad that I went for my retail therapy.To sum up the day...I went for a delicious dinner with my mum and sibs at WILDFIRE at Suntec City.

What have I benefited from my retail therapy?
*2 new tops(a camou and sixties retro top frm mango)
*A black hipster jeans frm Far East...really comfy
*A temp. tattoo frm Area 51...decision maker is Ms Nicole.haha
*2 pairs of earrings for my mum and myself
*3 cds..Brit,3 doors down and No Doubt greatest
*A new mascara..which I'm gonna try later in the day.

So yeah...its good to have retail therapy once in a while...especially if everything is paid for!!LOL..

*Hm...anyone wanna slap me for I went for my retail therapy on GSS?hehe
*bluek*

ft. Young Buck

[Intro:]
Teen drinking is very bad.
Yo I got a fake ID though.
Yeeah, yeeah, yeeah, 2 step with me, 2 step with me.

[Verse 1:]
1, here comes the 2 to the 3 to the 4,
Everybody drunk out on the dance floor,
Babygirl ass jiggle like she want more,
Like she a groupie and I aint even on tour,
Maybe cause she heard that I rhyme hardcore,
Or maybe cause she heard that I buy out the stores,
Bottom of the 9th and a nigga gotta score,
If not i gotta move on to the next floor,
Here comes the 3 to the 2 to the 1,
Homeboy trippin' he don't know I got a gun,
When it come to pop man we do shit for fun,
You aint got one nigga you betta run,
Now i'm in the back gettin head from my hunz,
While she goin down i'm breakin down what i done,
She smokin my blunt sayin she aint havin fun,
Bitch give it back now you don't get none.

[Chorus:]
Now everybody in the club gettin tipsy,
Everybody in the club gettin tipsy,
Now everybody in the club gettin tipsy,
Everybody in the club gettin tipsy,
Now everybody in the club gettin tipsy,
Everybody in the club gettin tipsy,
Now everybody in the club gettin tipsy,
Everybody in the club gettin tipsy.

[Young Buck:]
I'm on the dance floor tipsy, Swimmin wit the dolphins
Every im at in my cup hypnotic coughin its j-Kwon and
The kid they call Buck ima shine whereva stuntin them
Princess cuts White gold on my chest and white gold in
My mouth i ride dirty and i'm treel but i ain't from
The south from the m-dot east side connect game and
You can find me in the vip twistin them thangz,shorty
Like watz your name i know you rap girl sed i ain't get
Tipsy let me get at that i carocade outside look like a
Funeral and when we p-ly pimpin thats the usual leon
On the dash wit the polo shoes i ride dolo wom just to
Take home you she got a tip trail on her behind without
The baby phat the that she movin ain't no tellin wat ima
Do to that.

[Verse 2:]
2, here comes the 3 to the 4 to the 5,
Now i'm lookin at shorty right in the eyes,
Couple seconds passed now i'm lookin at her thighs,
While she tellin me how much she hate her guy,
Said she got a kid but she got her tubes tied,
If you 21 girl that's alright,
I wonder if a shake comin with them fries,
If so baby can i get em super sized,
Here comes the 4 to the 3 to the 2,
She started feelin on my johnson right out the blue,
Girl you super thick so i'm thinkin that's kool,
But instead of 1 lifestyle i need 2
Her eyes got big when she glanced at my jewels,
Expression on her face like she aint got a clue,
And she told me she don't run with a crew,
You know how i do but i guess one gotta do.

[Chorus]

[Verse 3:]
3, here comes the 4 to the 5 to the 6,
Self explanatory I ain't gotta say i'm rich,
This single man aint tryna get hitched,
Nigga waste it on me man son of a bitch,
Brushed it all off now i'm back to gettin lit,
Grisa orange juice man this some good ish,
Homeboy trippin cause i'm starin at his chick,
Now he on the sideline starin at my clique,
Here comes the 5 to the 4 to the 3,
Hands in the air if you cats drunk as me,
Club on the set kwon cut out them trees,
Dude i don't care i'm a p.i.m.p.

[Chorus]

**GIRLY GIRLS...LET's GET TIPSY ON WEDNESDAY NITE!!Well..I hope i can go la!!Wahahaha*

Last nite, finally met up with my good friend May."HI mAY!!"hehe...so yeah we did lots of catching up...still,time spent is never enough...but it was great meeting up with ya and exchanging our thoughts.haha..of course bitching too!!That we shall never miss out huh!haha...so yeah...it feels good meeting up with your frens..just chilling together at starbucks and just talk and guy watching!!haha..I saw 2 cute guys yesterday.So adorable...1 indian and chinese.hah...my guess is...they're probably in NS la...cause they kept checking out girls.haha...MAN!!

Oh yah...Eunice messaged me last Wednesday ard 2-3 am and told me she danced with Avan.There and then...I hated her man.I really did.I was so jealous!!ARgh!!!*pulls her hair*haha..So who is Avan?Well...he was this really hot dude in Engineering Yr 3.He's Eurasian...tall,body not too big..just nice..great sense of style..he smells good and botak!!haha..skin head!In all...he is SEXY la!!He may appear obnoxious..but actually quite friendly..cause I managed to talk to him once outside zouk.That was sweet.haha...after that he went to NS a few days later with TIMO.haha..my kinda guy...really.But he's too good looking for me la!!Wahahaha.kinda reminds me abt my yr 1 days...slacking at Mac with the girls.Sitting at our round table...and checking Avan out.We get so excited each time we see him...well Eun and me la.haha...The moment he steps at Mac...the whole male population in NYP are...*pukes*.haha..really la...Avan is like the epitomy of all the sexiness in a guy!!haha..Up till now..I can truly say that he still carries the throne.Second runner up is Jose Erik Kasijo!!haha...Avan..still the best la.haha.I've yet to see who is gonna take over Avan in my sch term in NYP.haha...If there is someone better looking and sexy than Avan..I'll salute to his parents la!!haha..for making such a handsome child!!haha.

I wanna take this opportunity to thank Avan parents for moulding him!!haha

Hm...kinda miss TIMO...sian...the year 3 guys..last year were good bunch of good looker man!!This year..hm..only Jose.haha...

*EuNICE...you know I dun hate you!!haha...hugs!!I hate Avan!!For dancing with you!!haha..
Ah well...looks like we had a sweet short moment with him.haha--*we sound so sicko sia*LOL

IBRC Library...its freaking cold!!I feel like I'm in a freezer.Now in Shan's room..so warm..nice and cozy..well not actually cozy cozy ..but okay la!!haha...I think my room chair better...feel like pushing my chair here.haha.Anyway...haven been having sufficient sleep la..duno why...i think still outstanding from last week's event.No matter how much I sleep...7 hours a day..its never enough.I guess it wont be.Cause I'm owing of over thousands hours of sleep...considering that I'm 20 this year..the years..19 accumalated till now.I feel so restless and been munching a whole lot.Oh dear god!!I've sinned...I always have!!haha.

Feel like eating strawberry now...with whip cream and ice sugar!!haha...Hm...kinda reminds me of Wednesday sales preview at my mum's place.This gay guy...my mum's supplier.His name is Daisy.So I was at the bar counter...and he was like opposite me.Next to me was John(cute)...hah.So yeah..Daisy picked a huge strawberry from the bowl and said.."Wah..this strawberry so big!!Like my balls!How to eat??" Man..that very moment ..I swear I wanted to laugh out loud.But I couldn't..I looked at John...and he had a huge smile on his face!!haha..John john..*note:not john leong...but the 30+ John.
So yeah...that nite was good la...though not a puff that day..I drank a little and slept like a baby.The white wine was good la...and drank a little tiger beer...helped john finished his can.haha...it kinda look like apple juice from far(beer in glass) considering the fact that there are bubbles/foam at the top of the drink.haha.

Just feeling restless and cold.

Looked like dick.Head like dickhead.Cock eye too.Brains...only two small ones at the side which doesn't seems to be working since she's a bimbo!!Talked as though there are words marqueeing in from of her face.Saying each word properly..."Wah...i a..re yah u so laa..ate?"Fuck you la dickhead bitch.I sometimes wonder if you're a woman or a man.Get lost la...every morning meeting..come and nag...afternoon come and check on us macam we dogs!!Then evening come again..de brief.Wat shit is that??Even IBM dun have meetings 3 times a day.Stupid dickhead cow!!Go for a manicure..shave your armpits,legs..stick a menthol in your mouth 24/7 cause you stink!!In fact...Xiang nu rou yi yang chou!!Yeah..you stink like beef...a cow's dickhead to be precise!!

Get lost you used to cry alot being bullied by colleagues dickhead cow!!

*PEACE*

There's so many road to choose from.
What do I do?
There's so much pain and anger now.
Still there's love and happiness waiting for us.
There's peace and wisdom.
To achieve it seems unevitable.
Why?
Till then...I'm just lost within my own reality.

I don’t know how to fit inside, All you do is try and leave me behind,

I don’t know what to do, Because something is killing me,

I don’t know how to turn you on, All you do is try and lead me on,

I don’t know what to do, Because something here is telling me to kill you,

It’s all gone wrong, it’s all gone wrong ......

Another one...written by my buddy Mr Ong.I dunno if he came up with it...but I like it and decided to copy it to my blog.hehe...there's no copyright issues rite??hehe

I'm finding my way back to sanity again
Though I don't really know what I'm going to do when I get there
Take a breath and hold on tight, Spin around one more time
And gracefully fall back to the arms of Grace ...

Written by: Barry Ong
Ps:I liked his thoughts...decided to share it with you guys.I feel ya!!

I kinda fits how I feeling now...yeah baby!!LOL

"The greatest discovery of my generation is that a human being can alter his life by altering his attitude."-- WILLIAM JONES

Someone said, "Love hurts".Why is that so?It is because we rather believe that if we keep mum about all the wrong doings of our love ones had done and continue loving them,and stay faithful to them...things will be better?Maybe so...maybe no for some.But how much longer can you take?How long are you willing to suffer...just because you love him/her?It really depends on you.In this case, please dun say life is unfair for you.Cause you yourself is unfair to yourself.

After that...you start to settle in self pity...and start contradicting."Maybe...if I just close one eye and dun bother.Its better."In this case...though you tell yourself you dun bother,you still do.Why?Cause its love...you love the other...thats why you bother.Human beings...like to bother...sometimes bother too much.Then again...for certain things...its better not to bother.It really depends on the situation.

But staying ignorant isn't a bliss...cause all the hurt,disappointment in you...will finally accumulate and one fine day, you'll erupt!!!Like a volcano.So I rather you start burning now and settle things soon than to erupt like a volcano.Please dun be stubborn...its not fair to yourself...your inner being.Cause you'll go mad!!And the other who is hurting you is not that worth it if he/she continues cheating,disappointing you all the time.

Wat matters most is the quality of the relationship.Not how long you're together.It takes two hands to clap.And if the other hand is paralysed...you can continue clapping...except that the other hand will have to do more work.

In a realtionship...it takes both parties to make it work.No one is at fault if pride is hit or ego is hurt.

There are no words or feelings to justify the real term, "Love hurts".

*This is just my opinion la..if I were in any of your shoes...this is the way how I would do things.

These few days,I'm feeling damn good!Happy...jovial!!Just great!Dun ask me why...I just do.I feel lightness in my heart and thats great.Feel so relax.I dun wanna give a fuck to anything and anyone at all.Just living my own life and have my final say to anyone if they need one.Just tired of all the relationship..love problem goin on.Damn tired...really!So I decided to move on...be the bitchy me!haha

I'm had a great time chatting with Rol just now at Coffee Bean and with "My fav. darlings" at Starbucks.Man...too much caffeine lately!!haha.I just feel good la.He told me he misses me.And yeah...I miss him too.In fact...I kinda like it this way.No commitment...no status...I guess we have a platonic relationship and I am totally fine with that.If nothing happens..its okay.Cause I have lots of guys around me.All my darlings=1 boyfriend!!So yeah...'bitch rite'(CArol's way of saying)?Well,I'M A HAPPY BITCH!Cause there are still...*ahem* and another one shining thru!!LOL

I just feel good la...and I hope you guys as well.I think I better shut up abt me being HAPPY!!Sha la la la la..

Only this I have to say:
"You choose how you want to feel.You wanna be happy?You wanna feel sorry for yourself?Its really up to you.Cause you take care of your heart...not him or her.But make sure you dun regret how you have reacted.If you do...thats just too bad and make wiser decisions next time.Lastly,only "this much" I can help and guide you thru...the rest is up to you."

The after effect of lots of alcoholic drinks,lost of many hours of sleep and lots of shaking and grinding...hehe=Body ache,Sore throat and fever.Yeah...I didn't go to school yesterday.Thats because of the after effect.Sigh...nite babies.

Its was nice...just hanging out with your friends ard 10pm..laughing and eating ice cream.hehe...its good to have good company.My darlings...hehe..Kwok,Barry and John..oh yes...Moo too.hehe.Yeah...went out for ice cream with them for awhile.Been sleeping the whole day la.Nothing much..was on my bed most time and bro's room to use computer.Then back to bed again.hehe...Basically,thats wat I did on my hangover day.Good life man...sian...must go sch tmr.

Any...hope your day was fine.Man...my stomach growling...fierce!!haha
nite nite...off to hibernate again...

To nicole:Thanks girls.Everything went fine.I'm sure you're read my previous entry rite..

I,Hera Herman...had a smashing time at Chinablack last nite.The crowd was pretty happening.The music was pumping...my heart was pumping...man...everyone was pumping but some were humping!!lol.I had the joy of all my good friends company..dancing,drinking...playing and of course fooling around.Oh...I got my darlings VIP seats too!!hehe.Got The B-day boy got VIP seats.Somehow..there were some screwed up with my seats cause someone gave my seats up to another person(VIP).I was so annoyed!!MAD!!Luckily..since B-Day boy was there earlier,he managed to occupy his seats first.So basically,2 tables belong to me.So the other one...some boring people..who were'nt dancing sat there.I was so mad with THAT person who gave my seats up.hehe.I even asked them to leave...but we settled that I should talk THAT person and their VIP who booked the table.So yeah....we(THAT and me) kinda compromise that once one area of his table are empty,he'll give it to me.So yeah...while I was settling with THAT person,the guys(Bong,John,Ben...the guys la) managed to get an even better seats...a couch.So yeah...after that I asked my Darling Dennis if he could leave a reserved card under my name on the table.And he did.haha...after a while...we got an even bigger VIP area..and left my name and THAT name on it!!haha...so no one..would dare to sit!!LOL.I even dug THAT person's reserved card in CB drawer...hehe...shameful of me...and DEnnis caught me!!haha...sorry!!
[]
So yeah..Dennis was a sweetheart la.Gave me drinks and all...gave me water when he knew I was already a bit tipsy.Too bad he was working or else we could have fun.Yeah,he too helped me settled the VIP seats thing...I was so mad..thank god he settled it for me.Or I would have flared up!!haha.Thanks Dennis...for everything!!Hugs!!
[]
Jeremy did a fine job as an emcee.I bet his fav part was being the "pole".LOL.Kwok...if you're reading...you did great.Long tiring day before the event..but you did A OKAY!!Man...dissing Marcus Soh(singlet boy) on stage was mean of you.I think you said something about MArcus Soh being cute or something.Asking pple opinion...hehe.MEAN KWOK!!But that was cool!!haha..our hommies.Oh ya...Singlet Boy is Mr BLOODRUSH 2004!Yeah!!Our own hommies won!haha.I bribed Marcus S to do it...hehe.He asked me to get tickets for him and pay for him first.I said I would if he joins Mr/Ms Bloodrush.hehe..such a sport he is..he said okay!!Woohoo..I'm good aren't I??haha
"Mr BLOODRUSH 2004!!!MARCUS SOH!!"--Applause and screams of Singlet Boy!!!
Psst:Singlet Boy dances real well!!haha..He got the moves man!!I like!!haha...Kwok..you too!!lol
[]
So yeah...dancing with my buddies...was great!!haha..hm..I think some of you seen something?I saw a shocked look on some faces...hehe...when I *ahem* with someone.Never expected it rite?Well...me too...haha.But his moves...LOL...lets stop here la hor...haha.But it was good shit ya'll!!haha
[]
HE asked me to dance with him...but I didn't.He told me he beg...got meh?haha..I just didn't feel like it I guess.Maybe because I have such good companies...hehe...but I guess he was disappointed.Wateva la...because HE was dancing and grinding with a gal.But its fine...cause I'm so much hotter than her!!LOL.Wat have I got to lose man...cause I was already..*ahem* with others!!And I'm happy with ...*ahem*.haha...so yeah last nite was some good shit.
[]
****Thanks to all my darlings for making last nite some good shit...happening nite!!Love you guys lots!!!!!****

I walked the whole of Orchard road last nite.Went to look for external competitors for my mystery shopper survey.After that,met a few people to sell them the tickets.Went chilling with the guys(Bong kwok and all la) and Zoe.Chatty girl...pretty nice actually.So yeah anyway..I was so dead tired on the way home...and didn't join the guys at Al-Amin...so yeah..a long day.Around one,Mao and Brian came to collect the sales money ...so had a little discussion and I found out that I was one ticket short.Went back home and did some accounting and recalling...so yeah its all settle.Had balance account!!haha...so yeah..now I am in school stoning..another long day.I think I wanna fix my the other pointy shoes...the one with the broken heel.hehe..then off to town again for mystery shopping...to the gym for a quick shower and at 5pm...meeting with the BloodRush crew.So yeah...I'll be at Chinablack from 6 pm onwards till late.I'm like thinking...I'm gonna miss my sleep tonight.Wondering how am I going to make it to school on Fri @ 8.30am!!!I need to hibrnate over the weekend man!!So yeah..I'll be stoning most time and I'll probably wont talk much cause I'm brain dead as of 12pm today.

Thank You and I'll see you guys at Chinablack!!
Love,
Hera

*You guys can still get door tickets @ $25 @ Chinablack.Hope to see you girls and guys there!!!Muacks!

Good Morning boys and girls!!!!Today,is the last day sale of my pre-event tickets for the poly bash.So please do collect your tickets by today and make payment as well.After that, you can get your tickets at the door which is $25/-.So yeah..Its gonna be an exciting nite ya'll!There's gonna be hip hop performances and a short pageant.And the music gonna rock the whole chinablack man.My hope is...the crowd would be happening!!LOL..So yeah...I do hope to see you guys there!!I'll be there real early cause I have things to do...so yeah...just HOLLER me when you're there and I'll be sure to dance with you for a while!!LOL..

See Ya!!

Wouldn't it be nice to find your dreamlover real soon?It be nice wouldn't it?That perfect one.I wish I would find mine real soon...hehe.Ah well...guess wat??I heard my head massager broke off with the girlfriend!!Wahahah...I now can flirt freely with..ahem...my jap handsome friend!!Till then...enjoy the song.Visit my blog everyday cause I'll keep changing the song according to my mood.

I like to thank niza gal!!haha...Hugs!I'm addicted!!Chk the time...I'm fucking awake...can somebody please bang my head against the wall??

My sunshine...thanks for waking me up!!(Hopefully later at 6am u would.haha)ya know who you are...You're the only person I call sunshine.Hugs!

To retarded boy...you will always be retarded la..still I love you..cause you're lame ass retarded in my eyes.haha...no matter how much you annoy me and hurt me...you're still on top of my sweet list.Its your smile...but I wont be fooled!!

Jasmine boy(Nicky)...catch up with me before you go off to France you ass!!

DArlings:I love you girls and I miss you !!Take care of yourself please...its the curse month.Recite it and hopefully...we'll undo the curse!!haha

To the darling guys...let me quote from a lame retarded idiot in my life..
"I love you and I know you love me too!!"

Peace out***

I dunno why...I feel good.I guess,somehow...the door has open.There wasn't any keeper at all...haha.In fact...the keeper was me.You see,ONLY I can FIND LIGHTNESS in my heart."Dost Thou Love ME?"--I'm tired to ask.So..maybe I was infatuated?lol..I just feel good.I just feel so balanced..well for now.We still talk everyday...but thats just that I guess.Like i said...I'm contented now.Perhaps something better will come out of it.It was a blissful period I guess.Well...he was a good whore!!LOL..joking!!Heart pain and all but fuck it...I'll just take it as a potential teacher.haha...I guess you guys should know that there's this curse goin on huh??Shakespeare would say.."A plague o'both houses."Well...I've got a solution to that.Recite this:

Ashes to ashes.
Dust to dust.
Stop the curse from all of us.
Love hurts it ain't a bliss.
Fuck the curse.
I'll blow you a kiss.
Leave us or I'll be pissed!!!

Quoted by: Hera

Let me quote from Shakespeare:
"Parting is such sweet sorrow."--It hurts to part the ones you loved...sometimes its for the better.At the end of the day,you'll soon realize that...afterall...its for the best for both.

"If love be rough with you.Be rough with love.Prick love for pricking, and you beat love down"--In short,everything is in your hands.You decide how much hurt you can endure.

To all my darlings...a broken heart..it will be mended soon.To those in relationship...treasure them.Cause someone out there would love to love that person you're loving.Having problems?My take is...solve it soon.

Thats all I have to say...now I shall bid you good nite!!

I know its a sad song for some of you...but I like it!!Till then...I hope you girls will try not to think abt the sad stuff thats happening around us!!

"That singular aspect is a mirror, and the
reflection sheds light on some part of our
character that may not be our best side. Whether
we have conquered the defect or not, an open
mind and a forgiving nature will guide us to a
better relationship with someone who could be
our best friend disguised as the bane of our
existence."

It really speaks alot of things that we do not see or refuse to see. An open mind we have not neither a forgiving nature. I guess this is a great barrier to many and even to me but I have reached to a certain point where I have decided that forgiving someone is better then bearing grudges.When we hold that hatred no good is done for yourself.In fact you don't feel good about it either.I have long since forgiven all wrongs but more hurts keep coming.To conquer these I guess is to forgive with an open mind.That's a resolution I'm gonna try to follow....follow with determination.

I really have no idea where to start.Wats my say for today?Anything for me to share?Well...I dunno...I'm kinda lost within my own reality now.Wats the purpose of this lifetime?Do you guys believe in past life?I do...but I have no idea wat I was in my last life time.Has the question ever cross your mind...when you made new friends...or your present friends.."Why have I met you?" There could be a purpose in this lifetime why you met them.Some friends come and go...once they've done their part...in their lifetime...they'll just leave.They did wat they had to do to...to come and help you,rescue you,leave you in despair,to change you..it just goes on and on ...

Val...I believe in karma too.Big time...so far, things I've seen...it does happen.Wat goes around comes around.

WE all have principles to live by.And I stand by my principle all the way.No matter wat it is.Whether you're my friend,my mother,my brother...whoever it is..I'll stand by it.Even if it will cost me.I just can't do it....thats not just me.And please dun say a friend in need is a friend indeed...cause it will hurt me more...guilty for not helping in wateva.I just can't!!
So you fucker...buzz off for a while!!

I know I look hot in my green top!!!LOL...Thanks girl.But I was abused today.REad entry title:Abused.
Miss ya...and all of you too!!

Muacks!!

I have a story to tell.........

I was brutally abused by the bitches today....no better yet...I was molested.Not by a guy...but girlS...who are horny,mad and psycho la!!LOL...Shan,Rol...you two deserve to be send to changi prison and rot la!!Only both of you...in the same dark cell...only you and the toilet bowl.haha...you will be each other's company.Listen to each other stories...life story...bicker together...when you're tired of sharing..you'll start to hit each other!!Hit each other till both of you have no more energy to hit...too tired and restless.You can't move...cause you're both bruised.Rol in one corner...shan at the other corner.The toilet bowl in the middle.AFTER THAT...you both will suffer in the cold dark cell in silence.Cannot talk anymore...your throat will soon be dry.Suffer the smell of each other's urine...faeces...soon...you'll settle in self pity.You'll start to realize how much abuse you've done to me!!And you'll start to feel sorry.Once that is done...I'll come and rescue you with my perfume...to give you better air ventilation for 2 mins.Thats the only credit you'll get from me.

After that...I'll make you suffer longer!!With me around...I'll annoy you,irritate the hell out of you...bitch at you!!Yes...you'll suffer...with me.Me outside the cell...you both in the cell.Me and Inoera will be laughing at you!!LOL..and you'll hate me more!!After that you both suffer together again la!!!LOL

*End of my so called story...*

CArol...you bit me real hard on my shoulder...why?Lucky got no teeth mark...or else...I have to put concealer on my shoulder la!!LOL...shan,wats up with the vibrator thing huh?You horny la...crazy bitch.Ran after me...I ran so fast my bra almost fell off la!!LOL..You made me roll on the floor today.I hope you're happy!!haha..Still...no matter wat, I still love you both la!!!LOL...you two bitches make me go crazy!!One of these days...you'll gonna get it!!And I mean...really get it.So BEWARE!!Lady B will be back to haunt you...to annoy you...LOL!!

Adios!!

"I am a girl" - KISS

I just can't understand the ways, of all the men and their mistakes. You them all your heart, and then they rip it all away...
You told me how much you loved me, and how love was meant to be. And I believed in you, I thought that you would set me free.

(chorus)
You should've told me the truth, that I wasn't the girl for you...Still I didn't have a clue. So my heart depended on you...whoa

Although I'll say 'I hate you' now, Although I'll shout and curse you out...I'll always have love for you,because I am a girl.

Been told a man will leave you cold, get sick of you and bored...I know that it's no lie; I gave my all still I just cry. Never again will I be fooled, to give my all when nothing's true...I won't be played again, but I will fall in love again.
(chorus)
You should've told me the truth, that I wasn't the girl for you...Still I didn't have a clue. So my heart depended on you...whoa

Although I'll say 'I hate you' now, Although I'll shout and curse you out...I'll always have love for you,because I am a girl.

I loved you so now you leave me in the cold. How could this be, I thought that you'd only love me...Into the night, I will pray that you're alright. You hurt me so, I just can't let you go.

(bridge)
You took advantage of all my willingness to do anything for love. Now I'm the only one in pain...Will you please take it away.. Oh~

Never thought born being a girl, how I can love you and be burned. And now I build a wall, to never get torn again..
Although I say 'I hate you' now, Although I'll shout and curse you out...I'll always have love for you, because I am a girl...

**Wat a beautiful song!!I AM A GIRL...A damn good one!!!haha**

I love this song...Can I find my dreamlover out there?One who can sweep my feet away the moment I see him?Will I be able to find that perfect dreamlover?Could that imperfect someone in the end be your dreamlover?"You learn to love, not by finding a perfect person,but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly."--I love this quote because I believe in this world,nobody is perfect.It takes a good heart to love that someone who can hurt you many times..but you still love him.It takes love to forgive his/her bad deeds.It takes love to make you stand by your love ones through thick and thin.It takes love to blind us from things we dun want to face.It takes love.Eveything takes love...to stop us from hating,discriminating,to forgive....it goes on....
LOVE...WAT is LOVE??Its a very strong word...

Till then...I'll be looking and waiting for my dreamlover.

Dreamlover
by Mariah Carey Oohh......

do dududu da da dah
ooh ooh ooh ooohhh
(x2)
I need a lover to give me
The kind of love
That will last always
I need somebody uplifting
To take me away

I want a lover who knows me
Who understands how I feel inside
Someone to comfort and hold me
Through the long lonely night
Till the dawn
Why don't you take me away

Dreamlover come and rescue me
Take me up take me down
Take me anywhere you want to baby, now
I need you so desperatly
Won't you please come around
Cause I wanna share forever with you baby

I don't want another pretender
To disillusion me one more time
Whispering words of forever
Playing with my mind

I need someone to hold on to
The kind of love that won't fly away
I just want someone to belong to
Everyday
Of my life
Always
So come and take me away

(2X):
Dreamlover come rescue me
Take me up take me down
Take me anywhere you want to baby now
I need you so desperately
Won't you please come around
'Cause I wanna share forever with you baby

I hope you guys love my new blog !!Uncanny strange deja vu!!I need to hibernate soon...i prefer this design than the previous one.Till then...enjoy this.
nite!

Wahahaha...its damn cool man.I love this new site design!!I'm so happy!!haha...it makes you feel much excited to write your thoughts...ah well...for me la.haha...

Cause we are all moving on to our next stopover...and I am going to CRMSC!!Not looking forward to it though...except Yinzi teaching me chinese!!haha...Anyway,I've enjoy my time spent in EM.The channel 8 people are actually quite fun and friendly...they've been quite wonderful.I so not want to meet Mr Big Ego Greed anymore...neither do I want to work with him!!!LOL...Anyway...my conclusion..EM has been a fruitful stopover.Hm....I wonder wats next huh??Wats in it for me in CRMSC??All I know is the sup. is a biatch!!

Oh my...miss weird dress sense is next to me...and her feet stinks!!I swear!!!She took of her shoes!!!Please miss weird...wear your shoes back!!Puh...leze...I didn't bring any perfume today...I got nothing to save my nose..my sense of smell...gosh..i can hardly breathe!!Somebody....get her to wear her shoes...Oh fuck...she kept stroking her leg!!!In my mind:"Miss Weird,wat you trying to do to me????" Oh got...her feet really stinks...it has been lingering for the past 5 mins!!Her feet...oh my...wats wrong with it??Haha...thank god today last day...LOL!!

Have a nice weekend!!

Yeah..."Dun Sweat the Small Stuff!" We are human beings...making small stuffs into big stuffs.We can't help but to think...bother too much...endless thoughts running thru our minds...and start to wonder.I guess....its human nature huh.Anyway,only we can help ourselves....with the guidance of our darlings!!But at the end of the day...it is you who take control of your moods and your heart.

Like shan was saying...the BGR curse.HAHA...yeah...so far it hasn't happen to me.In fact...I'm not even in the real term of "BGR".haha.Frankly I dun wish to either(BGR curse).Me...confused at heart?Hm...there won't be a conclusion unless the 'door' is open.Till then...I'm too tired to be troubled.Less bothered...cause doing too much and not appreciated...it sucks la.haha..So yeah...at the moment,I'm just FINE!!I'm just being a crazy bitch ...and perhaps...horny??LOL...ya know and I know that you know wat I'm talking abt!!!LOL!!!
Anyway...darling shan...wats your defination of calm?Calm at heart?

At the moment...I can guide you...to lightness in the heart!!! : ) Well...I'll try my best.And to all of you too!!

Sick...having flu now and slight fever.Sigh...why sick??Hm...later morning confirm will keep going toilet to remove bowel...cause I took the pills.Sigh...I'll have driving later in the day....then off to gym with my sayang Rupen...been a long time since I went there man.Confirm after the workout...my whole body will ache...then my guess is...I'll be sick!!DAmn...so predictable.I'm feeling guilty now...he hurt his arm because of me.Damn...hope baby is fine...I really didn't know and it was unintentional.Though he said it was okay...I still feel guilty.He said...he'll definitely remember the incident....hehe.Wat an impression I made huh....could it be...me falling sick now a retribution??haha...I dunno la...Anyways...I'm off to bed now.Good nite and Sweet bloody dreams!!lol!!

By Britney Spears

Notice me, take my hand
Why are we strangers when
Our love is strong
Why carry on without me

Everytime I try to fly, I fall
Without my wings, I feel so small
I guess I need you, baby
And everytime I see you in my dreams
I see your face, it's haunting me
I guess I need you, baby

I make believe that you are here
It's the only way I see clear
What have I done
You seem to move on easy

And everytime I try to fly, I fall
Without my wings, I feel so small
I guess I need you, baby
And everytime I see you in my dreams
I see your face, you're haunting me
I guess I need you, baby

I may have made it rain
Please forgive me
My weakness caused you pain
And this song's my sorry

At night I pray
That soon your face will fade away

And everytime I try to fly, I fall
Without my wings, I feel so small
I guess I need you, baby
And everytime I see you in my dreams
I see your face, you're haunting me
I guess I need you, baby

For your info...I just like the song okay...haha

I slept really comfortably last nite...but it wasn't a peaceful sleep.I dunno why...but I woke up a Pissed person.Deep inside...I just feel angry...dunno why.Thanks Nic.Giving me that note and the biscuits made me happy!!hugs!!Anyway...I was glad I slept with my mango hooded jacket to bed...put the hood on and my eye pillow...and sleep comfortably...haha.I'm mad...I know.Sunny told me I was silly and asked me change the temperature of my air con...but I was too lazy...and the cold was good!!haha..."He" called me a schizophrenic...yeah...maybe I am.But I'm not a sucker for death like....Anyway,no worries about me cause I wont let any emotions take over me and my life!!I rule me...I be the judge of me...I am the decision maker...the peacemaker of me!

If the image doesn't comes out...this is wat it says:

*Heart of Crystal*
Strong. Open minded. Spiritual. You give of
yourself to anyone in need, and are held near
and dear by everyone who loves you. You long for
someone who will respect and honor you, and
appreciate your great gifts.

crystal heart

Heart of Crystal

What is Your Heart REALLY Made of?
brought to you by Quizilla

Before I start telling you what I've been doin over the weekend,let me tell you something!!

When you watch scary/ghost movie:

1)If you sit next to Carol,dun wear sleeve T-shirt.Cause one sleeve is sure gonna get bigger than the other.
2)Remind Shan not to talk during the movie.
3)Wear sleeveless T-shirt.Shan cannot pull anything..urm...except to grab your arm and hide behind your armpits!!LOL
4)Shan doesn't know how to sit properly..she'll keep kicking the chair next to her.
5)Shan watches only half of the movie.
6)Lionel reaction very slow.
7)He looked like he wanna sleep any moment.
8)I can continue eating my nachos even when the grossiest part comes.
9)I laughs during the movie and screams dramatically.
10)It was fun watching Carol and Shan scream even when it is not scary!!! LOLZ!!!!

That's it for now...still anticipating more weird reactions from them!!!haha

The weekend is finally over...such a drag to know that I gotta go to school later.Haven been doing much over the weekend.The sleep wasn't to bad either.Been watching vcds the whole day...laze around the house...bought 2 new guppies and a red lobster for my pond!!hehe...I love buying new fishes for my pond!Its a joy to add new fishes into it...clean the pond and decorate it.The pond is my property!!!haha...oh ya...did some grocery shopping over the weekend with my mum...oh yes...I bought a curry leaves plant and basil plant for my mum!!haha...Did I mention I love buying plants??hehe...yeah..I've got green fingers!!hehe...Till now...I still haven got a BONSAI plant for myself.HMPH!!!I wonder when...so yeah..nothing much happened.Oh wait...on friday I went Simpang Bedok with Hanis and Jai...been a long time since I last went supper with them.haha...Hm...didn't talk to him for the past 2 days.Just short conversation.He's kinda busy studying for his and I dun wanna distract him!!haha...I'm a distractor!!!LOL...Sigh...kinda miss him and I know he miss me too!!Cause he said so himself!!haha..Anyway...nothing much goin on between us la...just like that..only a few of you know wat I mean.Not to worry...I'm happy!! : )

*Rol dear...take each passing day as a test...a test for yourself and not for others.You'll soon find the correct answer if you keep trying...think properly and follow your instincts!!We're always here for you...to listen...and listen...and always listen...and to talk to.Smile girl!!Oh yes...you'll look great if you wear light makeup everyday!!haha

Hugs and kisses to girly girls and all my dearies!!Hope you guys love my new blog!!haha...
I'm feeling all mystical and dreamy...haha